Thursday, January 3, 2019

Aquaman movie review

Image result for aquaman

With all the failures that the DC universe has had lately with their crappy director directing crappy Marvel-wannabe rip off movies like Batman vs Superman and Justice League, it was good to see a lighthearted and actually good DC movie for once.

Aquaman is a great movie. Aquaman (and probably Wonder Woman) is one of those DC superheroes that can pull off a Marvel like concept because the character itself is meant to be a bit more lighthearted. It doesn't deal with identity issues and PTSD or the concept of psychology like Batman does. Christian Bale Batman really pulled this off well versing Joker and Bane. The recent movies didn't really shine well on Superman either and poorly depicted his super...ness (?? haha) and equally poorly depicted his struggles. But Aquaman was built to be a character with little inner conflict and that's what makes him suitable to be a Marvel-like superhero, where he just goes on an adventure, fights some evil guys, have a bit of slapstick jokes flying about and just over power his enemies with little challenge.
I mean if you want to point out the conflicts, well here they are. Major conflicts that he had was that he was a half-breed, a fact he ignored most of the time by just ignoring the Atlanteans (... is that what you call it?), he felt a bit guilty being the cause of his mother's death, another fact he mostly ignored and the very, VERY small regret that he didn't save a pirate causing his son to be revenge-ridden. Most of those conflicts were either resolved or ignored mostly throughout the movie.
In any case, so Aquaman went on a journey, did some cool superhero stuff, got a girl in the end. Happy ending.

I'm just going to point out the two small things I didn't like about the movie and it's very minor.
*Warning spoiler alert*
After Aquaman got the trident, he went into... battle... with the Atlanteans... before the movie, it seemed obvious that most of the water tribes didn't actually want to go to battle with humans. Xebel (the kingdom with the redhead) had a king that stated that he was basically going with the flow, Fishermen (people that look like a giant version of sea monkeys) had their king actually killed because he didn't want to join, Kingdom of Trench (the crab people) actually raged war because they didn't want to side and lastly/mainly the Atlantis people were mainly following their ruler, Orm.
The thing is, Aquaman could've came into the battle between crab people and everyone else by... oh I don't know... doing a big shout and showing off his new trident? If people can't hear him, maybe get the giant talking kraken to say it for him? or just simple demobilize them by using their marine creatures... I don't know, there could've been hundreds of creative ways to just stop the fight. But nooooo the director HAD to showoff how powerful and cool Aquaman was. He went in there and started, basically what I saw was a massacre. They never showed the full violence, since the movie was intended for children as well, but I saw sharks about to bite someone, kraken stepping on crab people and smashing ships with tentacles... I mean... If no one died in there, it would've been a miracle... He's the king for godsakes. Good kings don't make sacrifices of his own people just for a cool comeback. The war was unnecessary in the first place and as a king, he should've stopped it as soon as possible. And you know what else?? After Mera said "there's too much casualty. We have to stop the war" or something like that... THEY KISS!??!? WHILST PEOPLE ARE DYING IN THE BACKGROUND!!!! jesus... Like yeah, they should've kissed at some stage in the movie, but really guys?? This is the right time??? People are dying ffs! And what did she mean by 'casualty'??? Casualty is when innocents are hurt as a byproduct of war. Everyone was in the war first of all, but more importantly, people were dying because Aquaman, you weren't stopping the war, you were making it worse by sending out a bunch of sea creatures to massacre a bunch of random Atlanteans!!! grr... Anyway, that was the main thing I didn't like about the movie.

The next annoyance was that... Atlanteans spoke English. I know... I know... it's a fantasy story and how can we have a bunch of people not being able to communicate with each other... but still... Atlantis... is a part of Greek mythology. They went underwater thousands and thousands of years ago. If not Greek or Latin, they'd have some new broken old English... Like you know how with new technology and media, language changes? Most people will have trouble reading at least a few lines of Shakespeare, not only because the culture was completely different, but mainly because English has changed so much throughout the centuries. Grammar, the way people talk, words they use and the way they use it were all different. Even if Aquaman learnt Greek and Latin from early childhood, they will be totally different from the Atlantean version of it. Not to mention how his mom, queen Atlanna, came straight out of the water and started speaking English.

There was one other thing and this is also minor, because I know this is a universe that has no laws of the universe we live in and it's a fantasy story that doesn't follow science. There was a very poor explanation of how Atlanteans began breathing under water. Get a bunch of rabbits. Like millions if you want. Now put all those rabbits in the bottom of the ocean. Do you know how many of them will magically survive, start breathing under water and start being able to swim very well? NONE. THEY'LL ALL DIE. It's just not how evolution works!! Evolution works with 2 big factors in play, having children WITH mutation. Just because I throw myself into a pit of lava, it doesn't mean I'm randomly going to grow super skin and be able to breathe super hot air. If people living in Atlantis already had some mutations of being able to breathe under water, well those people would survive, reproduce with more children being able to breathe under water. I just didn't like the premise that, "oh the city sank... and people began breathing under water! Tada!!"

Actually, I'm going to rant about just one more thing. Pollution. I liked how the movie started by pointing out human faults. How we were trashing the ocean, over fishing and catching endangered species. I even liked how the rubbish were sent back to the beach. But you know what I didn't like? Aquaman... didn't really care... I mean... he might have?? But he doesn't do anything about it... He just mostly goes around saving fisherman or innocent marines in submarines that got hijacked. All he says is "don't judge a book by it's cover" or something like that and shows Mera how beautiful one city is and proceeds to continue not caring. Pollution is a big deal. Most fish that we eat are now known to carry some form of micro plastic. Coral reef are dying and fish are getting smaller due to size constraint and over fishing. You... You're not gonna do anything about it??

sigh... in any case. I'm done ranting. It's a lighthearted fiction that, as usual, I take too far anyway. It was a good movie and I did like it. I probably will see it again in the future.

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